Describing Andy couldn't be done better than to use the words of his cousin, Rabbi Eric B. Stark, in Andy's Eulogy: Eulogy for Andrew "Andy" Ross by Rabbi Eric B. Stark, July 24, 2000
There are few words that can be said at a time like this. There are few statements that can possibly capture the emotions of a moment like this. There are few thoughts that can be expressed to even remotely make sense of a life cut short. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would ever be asked to speak at the funeral of my cousin, Andy -- certainly not at the funeral of a cousin so close in age to me. Leonard and Valerie, Anita and Brian, we all share in the pain you are feeling today.
Andy was born on my parents wedding day. My mother always asked him why he couldn't have come a day earlier or a day later so that his parents could be at her wedding. Of course, that question, asked in fun, was a question he couldn't possibly answer. Today, we are left with other unanswerable questions. Why is it that one brother can go off to war and return with barely a scratch, but the other brother, who dedicated his life to saving life, is cut down so young? Why is it that a sister can dedicate her life to teaching children, including her own young son, but will never be able to teach her brother's children? Why is it that a father can spend his life on the road and return safely to his home each night, but his son will never return from his short trip? Why is it that a mother whose gentle touch cradles her patients is no longer able to cradle her son? Why is a firefighter/paramedic, lying here rather than out saving lives! I would so desperately love to be able to answer these questions. I would love to know the secrets of the universe. I would give anything to be able to explain the events of this weekend. But I can only answer one question. I can only answer why Andy was so special.
Everyone here today was Andy's best friend. Whether we were relatives, friends, or co-workers. To us, he was our best friend. We could talk to him about anything. We knew that there was always a ready ear, a quick smile, and a loving embrace. We knew that he would do anything in his power to make things better or us. If I had two days to speak, I could never capture all of his good qualities. If I had a month to reminisce I would still never remember everything. As a son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, friend, or colleague, there were few equals and none better. I may not know the answers to why bad things happen in the universe, but I do know what good things in the universe look like. Good things look like Andy Ross and all of us are better off because even for a short time, he was in the world with us. As long as we live, he lives. As long as we remember, he is a remembrance. His life was a blessing to us all. May we strive to be a blessing to all we encounter. In that way, Andy's life live on through us. Amen.
Andy by Michael Klinger, Best Friend of Andy
I've known Andy since I was a teenager. Our friendship grew over a period of more than 20 years. I remember meeting him; he lived in my cousin's neighborhood. We played all kinds of sports together back then, the baseball games at the Radners' were the most memorable. We were in the same youth group and that's where we started to get really close. We were inseparable. 'Mick' and 'Roo' as we were known back then. We did all the fun things that teens do to make their parents angry, and maybe even a few things that may have made them proud. In my mind we were more than just best friends, we were like blood brothers. Over the years we've done everything together, we traveled the world, we shared life's ups and downs, we sang Bruce Springsteen songs... but mostly we were always there when one of us needed someone to talk to. No matter how far the distance between us, it's like we were right next door. I was there on every move he made, from Lansing to Jackson to Trenton. I kept thinking, he's still out in the boonies, but at least he's getting closer! We both realized a dream in the last few years, helping each other move into our respective homes was something we always had hoped for.
Andy has a soul like nobody I've ever met; he would do anything for anyone at anytime, and that was only a small part of what made him a great human being. He loved his family, he loved being an Uncle to Matthew, he loved his pets, he loved his career, he loved his boat, he loved to fish, he loved his guitar, he loved Stevie Ray Vaughn and Howard Stern and B.B. King. He loved the Blues Brothers and the Jazz festivals; he loved the blues, but ironically always had a smile on his face. He loved Halo Burgers and slurpees. He loved his Harley. The smile on his face was a mile wide when he was on it. That is the face I will remember.
He loved life, and lived it to the fullest. It's cliché to say, but I think he's left us with very few regrets. He did everything he set out to do in life. He wanted to work on a kibbutz in Israel and he did that, he came back looking like Abe Lincoln, but even that was OK. He wanted to be a paramedic and he did that, he wanted to be a firefighter, and he did that. He loved to help people and I know he served his community brilliantly. Lately, he started playing the guitar and for a white Jewish guy from Farmington Hills, he played the blues pretty good. I can only think of one thing that he would have regretted. In the last few months Andy played a big part in the planning of my wedding, and he talked a lot about getting married and starting a family of his own. He would have been a great husband and father. He was very supportive of Michelle and I, and was a witness to our celebration. I would have had it no other way. I always said he was the best man alternate, and if my brother couldn't handle his duties, then it was his job. He made my bachelor party a night to remember.
His life was too short, but it was full. 32 years and 11 months is not long enough for someone so special to keep us company on Earth. Now it's up to us. His body may be gone to a better place, but his heart and soul live within each one of us. We have to continue to do the things that made him happy and brought him satisfaction. Help one another, be grateful for what you have. A person only has one best friend in life, and Andy was mine. The last words I said to him as he left my wedding were "I love you, thanks for everything." He responded in kind. That sums it up. I thank him for being a part of my life like nobody else ever was, or will be. I will miss him more than any words can ever express. I pledge to keep his memory and spirit alive every day, and I hope everyone else will do the same.